Friday, September 24, 2010

::Souvenir::

Souvenir



Tears
Aching
Broken heart
Crushed hope smashed dreams,
The sad souvenir of falling in love.

**A tetractys is a complete thought written in 20 syllables.
1st line 1 syllable
2nd line 2
3rd line 3
4th line 4
5th line 10

Image: Google

35 comments:

  1. wow,
    elegant piece.
    love the way you kill it.

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  2. love your entry,
    'love your supportive matter more..

    your technique writing on this kind of poetry is unbeatable!

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  3. That is fantastic. I have never tried a poem like that so I really appreciate that you listed the type with the rules. Your poem is a gift with the rules being a bonus gift. Thank you!

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  4. sad as it is the best form of poem u have made...deeply expressed like a short sharp shock... Cheers!!!

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  5. its worst souvenir !!!

    ok.. i m taking this poem too seriously..

    very good.. and like they say..

    "short and sweet"

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  6. I love learning about new poetic forms. Can't wait to try it. Thank you.
    Victoria
    http://liv2write2day.wordpress.com/2010/09/23/ear-worms-a-poem-for-jingles-poetry-rally/

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  7. hey, i like this idea.
    nicely done too.
    i'll have a go at some point

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  8. Love the form...I MUST try that.
    Absolutely well said:-)

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  9. sweet,
    even
    hypnotic
    post more like this
    and i'll be coming back very often :)

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  10. Wow, so true.
    Very very nice because it expresses so much in so few lines :)

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  11. Never seen this form before -- I like it. I like your poem, too. Nice job.

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  12. Wonderful; so much powerful imagery squeezed into this entry.

    I'd never heard of a tetractys before but I'll definitely be giving it a try myself!

    Kiera :)

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  13. This form is new to me...very clever.

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  14. first time here..
    Lovely peom..
    You taught me a new form of peom.. Thanks a lot..

    Rhyming Waters

    --Someone Is Special--

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  15. my heart just slightly wimpered..

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  16. I am always so happy to find a new poetry form. And this one, practiced so eloquently with the perfect image accompaniment. Lovely.

    THANK YOU (and thank you for your comment on my Rally poem as well.)

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  17. Masttttttt :D jus tin some words you covered everything :O

    BUt i am still stuck @ how to count the syllables :P

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  18. man that is way too deep... I would love to be able to write like that... all I can do is the variety that I do...

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  19. Short but deep.
    I love how a short poem that could last long like this.

    Thumbs up.

    And thanks for sharing a bit about Tetractys. ^^

    Happy rally.

    http://acrossdhitzuniverse.wordpress.com/2010/09/25/silogisme/

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  20. its the worst souvenir, but not a regular one, thankfully! :) nice new form for me to try! :D thanks Raji..!

    Rally Week 29, My Poem

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  21. how are you?
    return favors to those you did not originally reach..

    http://jinglepoetry.blogspot.com/2010/09/monday-poetry-potluck-kings-queens-and.html

    Hello, friend:

    Our Monday Poetry Potluck Is NOW open, linking is open from Sunday 8pm to Tuesday, 8pm, welcome join us by linking in 1 to 3 poems, you could use an old poem, the more you share, the happier we are…hurry up!
    Thanks in advance.
    Hope to see you soon…

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  22. Loved this one as well it is now easy getting thought in to syllables this confined, I will keep trying. BTW loved the last line on this one!

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  23. Simply checking...
    make sure to return favors to poets,
    Thanks for the beautiful participation.
    Happy Tuesday!

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  24. That pic did it for me...tied the poem to a beautiful place

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  25. A great little poem and an education too (:

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  26. this really was sad raj. very touching.

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  27. I really loved your 20 syllable poem, Rajlakshmi. I am now inspired to give it a try.

    Thanks so much for sharing.

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  28. Brilliant! Brilliant! Few words.. but a world unfolded!

    I am here:
    http://puplumages.wordpress.com/2010/09/11/memories-rain/

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  29. No, Lakshmi, a broken heart never mends.. the scars remain.. as you rightly said, the souvenirs remain always.
    That hit a sore spot. :) ~Punam

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  30. http://thursdaypoetsrallypoetry.wordpress.com/2010/10/27/the-celebrate-poet-of-september-award-nomination-announcement/

    how are you?
    please vote when you have a moment,

    you are nominated, automatically, u win 1 vote,
    when you vote for other poets, u win another vote for yourself,

    thanks for the attention.

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  31. Beautiful! Like to try this poetry form :)

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