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Hmmm a rhyme ... Tankas Chime ...flow with sonnets ... words, so Perfect!!! If you too are interested in playing with words ... jump on the Poetry Wagon

Thursday, September 23, 2010

::Souvenir::

Souvenir



Tears
Aching
Broken heart
Crushed hope smashed dreams,
The sad souvenir of falling in love.

**A tetractys is a complete thought written in 20 syllables.
1st line 1 syllable
2nd line 2
3rd line 3
4th line 4
5th line 10

Image: Google

35 comments:

Jingle said...

wow,
elegant piece.
love the way you kill it.

Jingle said...

love your entry,
'love your supportive matter more..

your technique writing on this kind of poetry is unbeatable!

Kristen Haskell said...

That is fantastic. I have never tried a poem like that so I really appreciate that you listed the type with the rules. Your poem is a gift with the rules being a bonus gift. Thank you!

wiserskydiver said...

sad as it is the best form of poem u have made...deeply expressed like a short sharp shock... Cheers!!!

Sankoobaba said...

its worst souvenir !!!

ok.. i m taking this poem too seriously..

very good.. and like they say..

"short and sweet"

Victoria said...

I love learning about new poetic forms. Can't wait to try it. Thank you.
Victoria
http://liv2write2day.wordpress.com/2010/09/23/ear-worms-a-poem-for-jingles-poetry-rally/

Arts Web Show said...

hey, i like this idea.
nicely done too.
i'll have a go at some point

sillyfrogsusan said...

Love the form...I MUST try that.
Absolutely well said:-)

pennyinthewell said...

sweet,
even
hypnotic
post more like this
and i'll be coming back very often :)

Lu Ann said...

Wow, so true.
Very very nice because it expresses so much in so few lines :)

morganna said...

Never seen this form before -- I like it. I like your poem, too. Nice job.

kieraville said...

Wonderful; so much powerful imagery squeezed into this entry.

I'd never heard of a tetractys before but I'll definitely be giving it a try myself!

Kiera :)

penelopephoebe said...

This form is new to me...very clever.

Someone Is Special said...

first time here..
Lovely peom..
You taught me a new form of peom.. Thanks a lot..

Rhyming Waters

--Someone Is Special--

woih said...

my heart just slightly wimpered..

Julie Jordan Scott said...

I am always so happy to find a new poetry form. And this one, practiced so eloquently with the perfect image accompaniment. Lovely.

THANK YOU (and thank you for your comment on my Rally poem as well.)

Anuradha said...

Masttttttt :D jus tin some words you covered everything :O

BUt i am still stuck @ how to count the syllables :P

हेमंत कुमार ♠ Hemant Kumar said...

nice and interesting.

senderupwords said...

Impressive. Love and Light, Sender

magiceye said...

this is brilliant!

Aashish Sood said...

man that is way too deep... I would love to be able to write like that... all I can do is the variety that I do...

sm said...

wonderful

dhitzunako said...

Short but deep.
I love how a short poem that could last long like this.

Thumbs up.

And thanks for sharing a bit about Tetractys. ^^

Happy rally.

http://acrossdhitzuniverse.wordpress.com/2010/09/25/silogisme/

Leo said...

its the worst souvenir, but not a regular one, thankfully! :) nice new form for me to try! :D thanks Raji..!

Rally Week 29, My Poem

Jingle said...

how are you?
return favors to those you did not originally reach..

http://jinglepoetry.blogspot.com/2010/09/monday-poetry-potluck-kings-queens-and.html

Hello, friend:

Our Monday Poetry Potluck Is NOW open, linking is open from Sunday 8pm to Tuesday, 8pm, welcome join us by linking in 1 to 3 poems, you could use an old poem, the more you share, the happier we are…hurry up!
Thanks in advance.
Hope to see you soon…

Bloggin'withAmanda said...

Loved this one as well it is now easy getting thought in to syllables this confined, I will keep trying. BTW loved the last line on this one!

Jingle said...

Simply checking...
make sure to return favors to poets,
Thanks for the beautiful participation.
Happy Tuesday!

unprecedentedintellectual said...

That pic did it for me...tied the poem to a beautiful place

Bob said...

A great little poem and an education too (:

Anonymous said...

this really was sad raj. very touching.

Bodhirose said...

I really loved your 20 syllable poem, Rajlakshmi. I am now inspired to give it a try.

Thanks so much for sharing.

Purvi said...

Brilliant! Brilliant! Few words.. but a world unfolded!

I am here:
http://puplumages.wordpress.com/2010/09/11/memories-rain/

Punam said...

No, Lakshmi, a broken heart never mends.. the scars remain.. as you rightly said, the souvenirs remain always.
That hit a sore spot. :) ~Punam

Jingle said...

http://thursdaypoetsrallypoetry.wordpress.com/2010/10/27/the-celebrate-poet-of-september-award-nomination-announcement/

how are you?
please vote when you have a moment,

you are nominated, automatically, u win 1 vote,
when you vote for other poets, u win another vote for yourself,

thanks for the attention.

umapoems said...

Beautiful! Like to try this poetry form :)