Souvenir
Tears
Aching
Broken heart
Crushed hope smashed dreams,
The sad souvenir of falling in love.
**A tetractys is a complete thought written in 20 syllables.
1st line 1 syllable
2nd line 2
3rd line 3
4th line 4
5th line 10
Image: Google
Hmmm a rhyme ... Tankas Chime ...flow with sonnets ... words, so Perfect!!! If you too are interested in playing with words ... jump on the Poetry Wagon
About Me
- Rajlakshmi
- A dreamer, an artist and sometimes a bugger - coding bugs :P ... fascinated by the mysterious world of outer space and nail polishes too :) I hopelessly believe in everything that exists in this Universe ... {read that as incredibly credulous }... I can even hop along if someone tells that Alpha Centauri has come down to meet me... currently suffering from blogossesive disorder ...
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35 comments:
wow,
elegant piece.
love the way you kill it.
love your entry,
'love your supportive matter more..
your technique writing on this kind of poetry is unbeatable!
That is fantastic. I have never tried a poem like that so I really appreciate that you listed the type with the rules. Your poem is a gift with the rules being a bonus gift. Thank you!
sad as it is the best form of poem u have made...deeply expressed like a short sharp shock... Cheers!!!
its worst souvenir !!!
ok.. i m taking this poem too seriously..
very good.. and like they say..
"short and sweet"
I love learning about new poetic forms. Can't wait to try it. Thank you.
Victoria
http://liv2write2day.wordpress.com/2010/09/23/ear-worms-a-poem-for-jingles-poetry-rally/
hey, i like this idea.
nicely done too.
i'll have a go at some point
Love the form...I MUST try that.
Absolutely well said:-)
sweet,
even
hypnotic
post more like this
and i'll be coming back very often :)
Wow, so true.
Very very nice because it expresses so much in so few lines :)
Never seen this form before -- I like it. I like your poem, too. Nice job.
Wonderful; so much powerful imagery squeezed into this entry.
I'd never heard of a tetractys before but I'll definitely be giving it a try myself!
Kiera :)
This form is new to me...very clever.
first time here..
Lovely peom..
You taught me a new form of peom.. Thanks a lot..
Rhyming Waters
--Someone Is Special--
my heart just slightly wimpered..
I am always so happy to find a new poetry form. And this one, practiced so eloquently with the perfect image accompaniment. Lovely.
THANK YOU (and thank you for your comment on my Rally poem as well.)
Masttttttt :D jus tin some words you covered everything :O
BUt i am still stuck @ how to count the syllables :P
nice and interesting.
Impressive. Love and Light, Sender
this is brilliant!
man that is way too deep... I would love to be able to write like that... all I can do is the variety that I do...
wonderful
Short but deep.
I love how a short poem that could last long like this.
Thumbs up.
And thanks for sharing a bit about Tetractys. ^^
Happy rally.
http://acrossdhitzuniverse.wordpress.com/2010/09/25/silogisme/
its the worst souvenir, but not a regular one, thankfully! :) nice new form for me to try! :D thanks Raji..!
Rally Week 29, My Poem
how are you?
return favors to those you did not originally reach..
http://jinglepoetry.blogspot.com/2010/09/monday-poetry-potluck-kings-queens-and.html
Hello, friend:
Our Monday Poetry Potluck Is NOW open, linking is open from Sunday 8pm to Tuesday, 8pm, welcome join us by linking in 1 to 3 poems, you could use an old poem, the more you share, the happier we are…hurry up!
Thanks in advance.
Hope to see you soon…
Loved this one as well it is now easy getting thought in to syllables this confined, I will keep trying. BTW loved the last line on this one!
Simply checking...
make sure to return favors to poets,
Thanks for the beautiful participation.
Happy Tuesday!
That pic did it for me...tied the poem to a beautiful place
A great little poem and an education too (:
this really was sad raj. very touching.
I really loved your 20 syllable poem, Rajlakshmi. I am now inspired to give it a try.
Thanks so much for sharing.
Brilliant! Brilliant! Few words.. but a world unfolded!
I am here:
http://puplumages.wordpress.com/2010/09/11/memories-rain/
No, Lakshmi, a broken heart never mends.. the scars remain.. as you rightly said, the souvenirs remain always.
That hit a sore spot. :) ~Punam
http://thursdaypoetsrallypoetry.wordpress.com/2010/10/27/the-celebrate-poet-of-september-award-nomination-announcement/
how are you?
please vote when you have a moment,
you are nominated, automatically, u win 1 vote,
when you vote for other poets, u win another vote for yourself,
thanks for the attention.
Beautiful! Like to try this poetry form :)
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