Thursday, October 20, 2011

::Nobody's Child::


Her chapped palms smell of
-ungrateful jasmine-
roughened by shrewd plays of world.
And in the creases of
- youthful forehead-

sleeps an orphaned childhood, old

among distasteful leering,
ineffectual rags of
-modesty cries-
unfortunate beauty trapped among
-lechers-
pawn broker and hawker alike

-Nobody’s Child -
gazes  high up , at the
    S
    K
    Y
    S
    C
    R
    A
    P
    E
    R
    S ,
elegant unreachable stairs
winding beyond clouds yonder.

S L O W L Y sighing,
At the dreams hidden, on the dark side of
half bitten moon.


33 comments:

  1. I liked the 'orphaned childhood, old' part - interesting description to counter-balance the 'youthful forehead' part.

    Nice vertical "SKYSCRAPERS" too!

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  2. wow you really set the tone in this..we are resonating a bit with the prose i just posted...i feel for this child lost under the largeness of the world....nice textures to this...

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  3. I absolutely love the way this is written, it packs a powerful punch.

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  4. beautiful,

    your creative way of expression is impressive.

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  5. Half bitten moon is a good description.

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  6. I really liked 'half bitten moon' great imagery.

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  7. Excellent poem--most unusual and creative word use, and vivid imagery. Liked it very much.

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  8. Very nicely done! Evoking a lot of emtion. Blessings, Terri

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  9. The very first stanza is awesome! Gives a really solid start. The experiments with structure makes sense. Though, I'm not sure about hyphenated phrases. Any particular reason?

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  10. I had to read this a couple of times. I like the visuals you use and the way you pack this so full of... of what? Of emotion, I suppose. (Pardon me, words fail me sometimes. Or I fail them. Whichever.)

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  11. "Ungrateful jasmine" really stuck with me - perhaps it's the oddness of seeing a flower (or fragrance) as ungrateful.

    Anyway, this is a sad and powerful poem about a child of the streets and what she's had to do to survive. Well written.

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  12. love this, so creative and beautiful
    sadness!

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  13. Fascinating wordplay - quite effectual. Thank you!

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  14. Very interesting! And perhaps the most uniquely structured poems I've read here... nicely done :)

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  15. Interesting structure and use of enjambment.

    Here is my entry:
    http://jackedwardspoetry.blogspot.com/2011/10/this-is-my-mug.html

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  16. Orphaned childhood... such a sad sound to it.

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  17. this is excellent and your open really sets the mood all the way to the powerful ending so well penned
    http://gatelesspassage.com/2011/10/20/taken-from-me-on-halloween-night/

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  18. An interesting piece that clearly tries to push out messages and meaning to the reader (perhaps a little too much).

    cheers :-)

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  19. The flow of poetry was as if " a person bit walking and getting reminded of getting late and running a lil " kind of...
    some how I felt it so much interesting indeed dear...Thanks for share...

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  20. This reminded me how sad it is that most of us lose our childhood far too early. Very sad, but most beautifully written.

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  21. Yikes! Awesome, thank you.
    ZQ

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  22. if only someone from those elegant stairs will come down and lend a helping hand to the one who needs it so desperately.

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  23. This was beautiful , well expressed I'm speechless.....

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  24. a solid and beautiful piece.
    thanks for sharing.

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  25. a solid and beautiful piece.
    thanks for sharing.

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  26. Some very lovely word images like half bitten moon

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  27. Strong and vivid portrayal of stark reality ! Gr8 write RAJLAKSHMI :_)

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  28. Really striking poem. I like the half bitten moon image, and the tall skyscraper. It seems to me you have caught in words a bright sliver (like the moon) illuminating the world of an orphan.

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  29. effective treatment of the subject,unique style

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